Many of us organize our days around a to do list. Sometimes we write it down and check off competed items with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Or perhaps we note with disappointment the items that remain unfinished or even unstarted at the end of the day. Whether our list is written or simply jotted down mentally, we tend to judge the success of our day by what we set out to do compared to what we actually accomplished.
There is nothing wrong with to do lists. I use them too. But I wonder if the real value of my day can be measured by how many tasks I’ve checked off. I wonder if instead, at the beginning of the day, I might have as a priority over the to do list what might be called a to be list. A to be list would reflect the values or qualities that I would like to embrace, experience, and manifest as I go through my more mundane to do list. It would not be a list of self-improvement goals! It would be a gentle list of reminders. And at the end of the day, rather than focusing on what tasks I did or did not do, I might consider whether I recognized and made the most of opportunities to embody those values.
Could I be as pleased with the opportunity I took to be kind to an overworked cashier as I am with getting the grocery list checked off? And could I notice without judgment or regret the chances I missed? Could I end my day with compassion and gratitude, and begin the next day with renewed willingness and enthusiasm?
Lately my to be list usually starts with “be attentive” or “be mindful.” My list might also include reminders to be patient, kind, courteous, uncomplaining. Sometimes my list cautions me to be quiet and listen. And at the end of the day, it encourages me to be grateful.
Sometimes, the imperative to get things done overwhelms our frantic brains, and we forget, we just forget to take a breath and think about what really matters. What would our days be like if we devoted as much attention to our to be lists as we do to our to do lists?
There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
I’m reminded of daily quarantine questions from A Boomer Girl’s Guide blog in 2020, Value based & positive.
1. What am I grateful for today?
2, Who am I checking in on or connecting with today?
3. What expectations of normal am I letting go of today?
4. How am I getting outside today?
5. How am I moving my body today?
6. What beauty am I creating, cultivating or inviting today
Oh, those to-do lists. I’ve learned to just do the next thing.
Those are great questions, Mona. There is a daily spiritual practice called a daily examen that also offers some good self reflective questions. I like your approach to to do lists — just the next thing. Like taking just the next step. Thanks for commenting.
Hi Galen,
Love this post. Your posts always seem to resonate with me in so many ways. Sometimes, it’s a fast recognition, sometimes a slow burn where I have to dig a bit deeper. Oh, how life could change if we had ‘to be’ lists. Far more interesting and yes, we can put them into action doing the chore list. Mine would be to be accepting, to go with the flow of quite a bit of current confusion and recalibration without trying to pin anything down, to appreciate what I have, and get close to nature every day. Always a pleasure to read one of your posts.
Thanks Lynne. I love your choice of accepting. That is the gateway to so many other qualities of living in alignment with what is. And yes, appreciation could be a welcome addition to any to be list! And nature. Like the Japanese practice of forest bathing. We can nature bathe in our own backyards, or on a walk, or just looking at the sky. My favorite place to nature bathe is in the forest sitting by the creek in front of my cabin.
Ah, you’ve mentioned that before, and I can see you there in my minds eye!
Hi Galen! Thanks for a great reminder as always. I have been going through old journals –like writings from 25 years ago!–and it seems like I was so very busy back then. Nowadays my life is much more relaxed and mindful. Of course I do still struggle a bit with thinking I should be more productive. But I manage to silence that voice fairly well. My “beingness” seems pretty content right now and I doubt that will change anytime soon. ~Kathy
Thoughtful reframing practice. Thank you!