Just Like Me

In the realm of true dharma
There is neither self nor other
Only spontaneous recognition
As we say together “not two”
~Sengcan

Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron says that she practices compassion by reminding herself that everyone she encounters is “just like me.” Just like me, this person wants to be free from suffering. Just like me, this person wants to be happy. Just like me, this person sometimes acts from ignorance or fear. Just like me, this person has joys and sorrows in their life. Just like me, this person wants to be loved. Just like me, this person shares our common humanity on this precious earth.

This practice can be a stretch when we see or learn of someone doing something that seems so completely abhorrent to us that we can’t imagine that we would ever behave like that. I have certainly felt like that at times. “This person is nothing like me!”

And yet, when I look deeper….

Perhaps this person is acting out of greed or self-interest. Have I ever done something that was self-serving?

Perhaps this person is acting out of anger. Have I ever lashed out at someone?

Perhaps this person is acting out of allegiance to an ideology. Have I ever thought I was right about how someone else should think or live?

Perhaps the person is acting out of bias or prejudice. Have I ever treated someone wrongly out of prejudice or ignorance?

Okay, I know there are things that I can’t imagine myself doing. I wouldn’t abuse or starve a child, for example, or at least I’d like to think I wouldn’t. But do my consumer buying habits contribute to hunger somewhere in the world, or child labor, or unsafe living conditions? That’s just one example. I’m not suggesting that we are all terrible. I’m suggesting that we are all human.

If I’m honest, I admit that while certain specific behaviors might seem unrelatable to me, there is nothing that anyone has ever done that is completely foreign to my own humanness. Indeed, we are all connected through the vast web of existence to each other. When I see anyone as “other,” when I see myself as right, when I see myself as better, I lose my connection and separate myself from the universal energy that breathes all life into being.

There is no path to unity through division, there is no path to peace through conflict, there is no path to harmony through judgment. The path to the life that we all want for ourselves, our children, and all beings is one we all walk on together – the path of love. It’s the only path there is. And when we take our first step along its way, we recognize it as the path we’ve always been on, and we see that everyone else is on the path with us.

You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean. ~Alan Watts