Years ago, I happened to be at a church service where a pastor candidate was giving what I called an “audition sermon.” After the service, the congregation was invited to stay and ask questions. One woman, concerned about dwindling church membership, asked, “What are your plans to grow the church?” The candidate paused, and with a boldness I admired for someone in his precarious position, answered, “That depends on what you are willing to risk. Everyone like you is already here.” Mic drop.
Isn’t that true for most things in life that we say we want? We express longing for something, we hold our happiness hostage to achieving or acquiring it, yet we are unwilling to do the work, take the leap, or give up any of our security to reach for our deepest desire. We bewail our lack of good fortune as we blame fate, blame “them” (whoever that might be), blame parents, partners, employers, any and every one, rather than own the choice we made. I’m not suggesting that we should have made a different choice – we all have to make our own risk assessment in various circumstances. I am simply suggesting that we recognize our own authority and take responsibility for the choices we make in our thoughts, words, and actions.
There are those moments in our lives when, for whatever reason and for whatever purpose, we are willing to put it all on the line. I remember some of these moments as full of power and possibility. And of courage, even when I was scared, sometimes really scared. True, some of those moments fell flat, but more of them unfolded in ways beyond my wildest dreams. Looking back, there is not one of those times when I wish I had made a different choice.
The moments of choice that really mattered were not ones that led to fame or fortune. They were the moments when I stepped forward as my whole self – honest, vulnerable, aligned, trustful. That is what that pastor did that day. His response was not the safe one. It could have cost him the job. What he modeled that day was courage. He risked everything to be who he was. That seems a risk worth taking.
Nothing can be more hurtful to your heart than betraying yourself. ~Roy T. Bennett
I feel that as we get older, we become more risk-adverse. With less time in front of us than behind, maybe it is simply a fear of losing something we don’t have time to replace be that creature comfort, financial security, or relationship stability.
This post argues that a risk-free life is ultimately unsatisfying. We are trading a chance to grow in a new way for a false sense of security.
Much to think about.
Yes, I’m sure that is an accurate observation about being less willing to take certain risks as we getting older, Bob. I know that is true for me too. At the same time, I’m MORE willing to be fully who I am, probably because at this age, I am just too tired to be anything else! Ha!