The Power of Choice

I could see peace instead of this. ~A Course in Miracles

A friend of mine some years ago had worked very hard to get to a position of success. He had a good job and was well respected in his professional community. One family member, however, was in a difficult situation, mostly of their own making. My friend inserted himself into the circumstances in a way that would clearly lead to his own downfall. He could see where his path led, but when I repeatedly implored him to reconsider his approach, his response was always the same: “I have no choice.”

He did have a choice of course. He ignored other options that would have helped the family member without jeopardizing his own career. But for whatever reason, he could not or would not explore any possible path other than the one he was on. The inevitable happened and he lost everything. His refrain of “I have no choice” left him powerless, at the mercy of events controlled by others.

Most of us can think of examples in our own lives that trigger a sense of helplessness. How many times do we tell ourselves that we “have to” do something, or that we have no choice? Decades ago, I was in a situation that became intolerable to me. At the time, in the throes of all the emotional drama of youth, I thought that my only choices were to endure it or kill myself. Poised to take the second option, I suddenly realized that there was a third option. I could just leave. So I did. It was so simple, so easy, and so obvious. I couldn’t believe that I had not seen it before.

A particular credit card company aired a series of commercials that involved some imminent horribleness (picture marauding Vikings bearing down on you) that was diverted at the last moment by the intended victim whipping the company’s credit card out of his wallet and holding it up. The commercials always ended with the question, “What’s in YOUR wallet?” The message was that if you chose that company’s credit card, then it would act as a powerful shield against all sorts of catastrophic disasters.

There is a tremendous power in our ability to choose. Why is it so hard to recognize and claim it? We are blinded by the rules and expectations of our culture and family. We are trapped by the narratives of our own fear. Power can be scary. Claiming our power invokes the corollary responsibility for the consequences of our choices. Sometimes it seems safer and easier to abdicate our power. We fail to see, however, that this power is inalienable. We are always exercising the power to choose, and always experiencing the consequences of those choices. So, whatever you choose, own it.

Einstein said that “the single most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” When I was young and knew everything, I wrote a philosophy paper based on the premise that we participate in creating the reality we perceive. In the arrogance of youth, I thought I came up with that idea myself. Well, of course I didn’t. But somehow I knew that I had untapped potential to shape my world.

Sadly, the world I shaped for most of my young life was not a kind one. It was a world of mischievous demons lurking in the shadows. Like the lookout in a western, I kept watch by the fire during the night, always on alert, always vigilant. And when bad things inevitably happened, I believed it was because my guard had dropped, because I had failed to maintain control.

Even as I write the words, I shake my head in disbelief that I lived that way for so long. If necessity is the mother of invention, then exhaustion is the mother of major life changes. I live in a different universe now, a friendly one. I can’t prove that it is friendly. I simply choose to believe that it is. And that choice drives my perceptions and experiences. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So what’s in my wallet? A credit card of power. Not power over my circumstances, but power over how I interpret them and interact with them. The power of choice.

And guess what. That’s what’s in your wallet, too.

Liberation – a simple choice. The way is easy and without effort. It rests in the power to decide. ~The Way of Mastery