The Power of Softness

The Dao De Jing teaches that nothing is more soft and yielding than water, and yet nothing is more powerful. Water yields without resistence when pushed, yet simply by following its intrinsic nature, water carves out great canyons, wears down intransigent rocks, cascades through quicksilver rapids, and plunges over thundering waterfalls. People think that softness is weak, but consider the strength of ocean waves and the pressure of water’s depths.

Legendary martial artist Bruce Lee compared his style of fighting to the fluidity and power of water. “Be water, my friend,” was his repeated advice. That might not sound like a good combat strategy, but I have seen its wisdom in amazing application by taiji masters and more modestly in my own practice.

More importantly, I witness its effectiveness in everyday life. Our instinct when we feel attacked or when faced with something we deem unjust, or even just something we want to be different, is to confront and contend. “Resist!” as the protest posters encourage. But, as the saying goes, what we resist, persists. Our adversarial approach often feeds and strengthens the very behavior or situation we find objectionable. When force meets with force, we might win a battle, but there will always be someone stronger. Lasting peace is rarely achieved by such a stance.

I could offer more impressive examples, perhaps, but the example I most recently experienced involves the squirrels who for years have raided the bird feeder in my back yard. And for years I have tried to outwit them by placing the feeder in different locations and attaching all kinds of barriers. I finally concluded that I am not as smart as a squirrel.

Admitting defeat, I tried something different. I yielded to the squirrels’ determination and ingenuity, and started putting a small bowl of nuts on the ground away from the feeder every morning. The squirrels are happy. The birds are happy. And so am I. Now I sit in the backyard as I eat breakfast and watch everyone living in harmony.

But I guess I’m still not smarter than a squirrel, because it took me this long to see that softness does indeed overcome what is hard. The squirrels knew what the best solution was all along.

The greatest victory is achieved without battle. ~Sun Tzu, The Art of War