When someone says thank you, there are several common responses:
No problem.
You bet.
Of course.
No worries.
It was nothing.
My pleasure.
Happy to help.
And the traditional response, “You’re welcome.” We respond to thanks without really thinking, but lately I’ve been paying more attention to this unnoticed little phrase and what it suggests. You are welcome. You are welcome in my life. You are welcome to my time and caring and attention. You are welcome to connect with me over whatever it is that evoked gratitude. You are welcome and valued and important to me. I see you and welcome you.
So sweet and charming. I’ve started making a point to respond with “you’re welcome” when someone thanks me. I like the way it makes me feel – more open and connected than some of the other typical responses which can sometimes sound a bit dismissive, even if unintentional. “You’re welcome” acknowledges the significance of something offered and received, even if it’s just a small something.
Many of us are quick to say thank you, but I wonder if we might give just as much care to how we respond to thanks. The words perhaps are not really so important, but just as a “thank you” acknowledges some gesture of kindness or generosity, we might honor the gratitude with the same attention and respect.
Do you have a favorite way of acknowledging gratitude?
I always need reminding about the importance of what comes out of the mouth. Often, it’s automatic, but how much better for it to come from my heart. Okay, this is the truth Galen, I spent many of my younger years in rural Minnesota, and we had lovely Scandinavian neighbors all around us. If you thanked them, they would often say “Youuu BETcha” with their charming lilt. Now I say that to my kids and grandkids.
I have been on the receiving end of “You betcha” as well as the shortened version “You bet.” I love your description of the tone of voice. It made me smile. And my guess is it made you feel seen and valued, like the person was so delighted to help you in some way. The words are not as important as the nonverbal message that is communicated with them. Thank you for sharing this, Pam. I am sure that your kids and grandkids feel loved every time they hear you say it.
I often reply with “You’re welcome” sometimes, “No worries.” I like what you wrote about “You’re welcome” suggestions, especially “I see you & welcome you.” I do have trouble with the rote Thank you, i.e. thank you for your patience, when I’ve been on hold for 20 min!
Mona, I had to laugh about the automated thank you while on hold, especially when it’s accompanied by automated music. We can all relate!
Hey Galen,
If I don’t say “you’re welcome,” and the circumstances are right, I’ll say, “It’s my pleasure,” or just “my pleasure.” But I do have to make sure it really IS my pleasure!
You’ve reminded me to slow down and be present to the person who gives me thanks.
Yes, I like “my pleasure” too, especially when, as you say, I am truly pleased to help. You’ve captured the sentiment perfectly — slow down and be present.