Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
Sometimes life brings us a gift of such overwhelming magnitude that it’s hard to resist trying to make sense of it in our rational minds. Our minds are dedicated in their mission to label, categorize, explain, and construct narrative, to fit everything neatly into an organized system of “reality.” When confronted with something beyond their grasp, neurons start to scramble like ants scurrying when their nest is disturbed. Focus shifts away from the experience to the task of understanding it.
When we do that, when we try to normalize the extraordinary, we risk losing the miracle of the moment. Our tendency to downplay, dismiss, reframe, or otherwise dim the blazing light of revelation might make our brains more comfortable, but we miss the invitation to step into the realm of expanded awareness. It’s like the universe is throwing us a party and we turn back, thinking we have nothing to wear, not realizing that everyone at the party has thrown their clothes away!
Recently, I caught myself ruminating over the last year, a year of tectonic shifts in my life in many ways on many levels. As some of you know, I had cancer and that is certainly part of the story, but not all of it. If anything, cancer was the invitation, but not the party. I admit it was challenging at times not to get swept up in the way most of our culture thinks about health and death and everything in between. With the help of beings in many realms, however, my experience was not what most would recognize as the norm. For the most part, I was able to stay present in the deepening mystery and vast expansion of a powerful liberation that was exactly what I had prayed for, but definitely could not have foreseen or imagined. A gift horse indeed.
And now in the calm after the storm, what did I do but start prying that horse’s mouth open to take a look at its teeth. Wanting to make sense of everything, wanting to understand everything in some sort of coherent context, I started to go back over events, marking dates, making associations, telling a story. Until I realized what I was doing and stopped. With each step of analysis, I could feel the power dissipating, the light fading, the magic floating away. Don’t go back, I was told. Be here. Go forward. Trust the gift to illumine your path. Be grateful. And so I am.
Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. ~Bil Keane
Yes and Amen — Don’t go back, I was told. Be here. Go forward. Trust the gift to illumine your path. Be grateful. And so I am.
Thanks Esther.
Trying to make sense of every twist and turn in our life is probably wasted time. As you note, we may be able to learn to modify how we make choices in the future, but some things are just what they were and what they will be.
At this stage of life, I try to remember all the wonderous things that have happened to me and my loved ones (like you!). Then, the best I can do is trust I will have the grace to accept what aging has in store for me.
Acceptance and trust — so important. Last year brought many wondrous things — like your visit and that boat! I may never understand it, but like the refrain of one of my favorite songs says, “It’s so amazing, and I’m grateful for it all.” Thanks for commenting, Bob.
I am re-reading this trememdous book, “10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place.”
Step 3 is all about giving up the delusion of control…sort of like looking a gift horse in the mouth for answers and clarity when all you will find are teeth
Haha– great analogy. So glad you are enjoying the book again. Thanks Bob.
I wonder what grand adventures that little boat has been a part of. Maybe it was found by some children or wild animals and they are giving it a new and wild adventure? Think of the possibilities! Each season new people find it, use it, then send in it’s way. I feel a children’s book is developing! Is there an end to the stream? Another gift for you my deserving friend. And let us all count our blessings! ????
Every time I am sitting by the creek, I think about that little boat and wonder where it is. I hope its story has continued in marvelous ways. Thanks Betty. I look forward to reading your book about the little boat!
Hi Galen! I can’t believe I nearly missed this post! I popped over to catch your latest and then saw that I’d missed one in there somewhere. It offers another one of your great perspectives and points out something that is so very “attractive” in my live…looking for the answer behind the experience by examining all those teeth!!!
Thom and I went to a panel discussion with Andrew Harvey, Deepak Chopra and Joh Kabat Zinn yesterday afternoon. One of the questions was, “what is the secret to a long life?” (Andy is 82, Deepak is 78 and Jon is 80). They all just laughed and I think Jon said, “luck.” Then they all sorta said what we all know but don’t always remember, the key is to make the most of each precious moment with gratitude and joy. Ahhhhh…. I don’t think I’d ever find that message in the horse’s mouth. ~Kathy
Hey Kathy, glad you caught it before it disappears into the mists of archives! Our brains are always so busy, aren’t they, trying to analyze and categorize everything to create an understandable narrative. Bless their little hearts. That’s just what they do. But we don’t have to let them get their bit in their teeth, to carry on the horse analogy.
Wow, I bet that discussion was fun and inspiring. Great panel. Thanks for stopping by.