Several years ago, the desire to know, to merge, with the Divine Beloved was so strong within me that I knew without that union, nothing else would ever be enough. And so I wrote this prayer:
Oh to feel your touch of grace
I ache for your embrace of compassion
Take me to yourself
Lose me in the folds of your sacred robes
Free me from these fetters of desire
And let me dive into the cauldron of your perfect heart
There to melt in the ecstasy of your divinity
And rest forever in your eternal flame
I knew that what I was asking was a lot. More than a lot. It was everything. And I knew the price was high. The price was everything. And that was more than a little scary. And so the addendum to my prayer was “Whatever it takes…and please help me mean it.” And so I waited…to mean it.
At the beginning of last year I realized that the time had come. I did mean it. I was all in. Completely. My prayer was now “Whatever it takes” without the caveat. I was ready and willing. And so began a remarkable year of intense, sometimes painful, often scary, frequently joyful, and consistently miraculous removal of everything that blocked my experience of the sacred love that breathes us into life with every breath.
A detailed account is more than a blog post can contain, but there was one moment a few months into the year that opened the door for everything that followed. There are moments we all experience that transcend all thought, all language, all understanding. This was such a moment, sudden and unexpected. The only word I can think of to describe it is rapture. It was a glimpse into what lies beyond all illusion. It was beautiful. And I am grateful.
The Beloved came for me
Covered me with soft lipped kisses
And consumed me in fiery embrace
All my longing sated
I grew vast in magnificent wholeness
Beyond the reach of reason
Blazing brilliant glory