Not long ago, I was contemplating whether to reach out to someone with whom I had had a falling out, who as a result had cut off communication with me. Months had gone by, and I thought perhaps I might offer a simple message, without expectation of response, just to let the other person know that I was thinking of them and wished them well.
I consulted a friend about the situation, explaining my uncertainty about the best course to take. I didn’t like the way things had ended, but on the other hand thought that perhaps it was best to just let it go. My friend considered for a moment and then said, “Always lead with love in everything you do. It tends to work out every time.”
That was great advice. Leading with love doesn’t dictate a particular choice, but does address the motive behind the choice. Nor does it promise a particular outcome, but it does promise that you will be at peace in your heart. Love is never a mistake.
I chose to reach out, and was pleasantly surprised by a gracious response. A close friendship was not reignited, but there was an ease in the release that had not been there before. It did work out, as promised.
Leading with love can look very different in various situations. In the case just described, it meant sending a friendly message. In another recent context, leading with love meant setting up a firm boundary and not allowing someone to manipulate me. The boundary was not established with anger or blame, but with compassion and sadness, and thus felt aligned with love, love for myself and for the other person too.
My friend’s advice has proven true every time I’ve followed it. It guides me out of my head and into my heart to listen to and trust love’s unerring navigation through all life’s stormy seas.
Reason says, the world is limited in six directions. There is no way out. Love says, there is a way, and I have traveled it many times. ~Rumi
Good reminder!
Thanks David
Yes.
Thanks Brian
Thank you for sharing this, Galen! I hope and pray that leading with love will become a regular response for me!
Thanks Pam. I hope so too. When I can pause on the brink of a choice and remember this advice, it always leads me in the right direction. So now all I have to do is remember it!
Hi Galen. I think your advice is particularly relevant now with things happening with Israel and Palestine. It is a VERY complicated issue with emotions triggers deeply but I can’t help but believe that “leading with love” is what we need to focus on and figure out how to make it work for the innocents involved. ~Kathy
So true, Kathy, about all the violent hot spots in the world right now, including in our own country. When I feel overwhelmed by it all, I remind myself that leading with love starts in my own life, in my own heart. And starts first of all with loving myself so that I can open my heart to love others. Perhaps big, global solutions start with small, individual solutions. Like some of the examples you’ve written about lately about meaningful conversation and building community. Thanks for your comment.